My Recurring Dream

I had my recurring dream the other night, the one which comes especially this time of year. There are variations of the dream, but the scenario is always the same. This time, I dreamt that I suddenly realized at 1:30 p.m. in the afternoon that it was first day of Rosh Hashana and that I had forgotten to let the cantor and members of the congregation know that I would not be there for the first day of the holiday. Variations of this dream are that it is the High Holidays and I am standing in front of the congregation and left my sermon either on my desk at home or in my office, or that I have not yet written or completed writing it. I always wake up in a panic and am relieved to discover it was merely a bad dream and not reality.

I will leave it to the disciples of Freud to interpret this dream. I interpret it as meaning that the holidays will soon be upon us and that I must begin preparing for them, or I won’t be ready.

For me, getting ready for the holidays entails deciding which of the themes that I have thought about all year long I am going to address in my sermons. It means reviewing the liturgy and prayer book. I meet with the staff to be sure that the logistical arrangements are taken care of so that all will go smoothly. I also make a point of studying and reading either new materials or reviewing texts and books which I have previously learned in order to help to put me in the mood and proper frame of mind.

But it is not only rabbis who need to prepare for the holidays. Each and every one of us can benefit from preparing. Just as athletes stretch and warm up prior to taking the field and musicians have their routine to warm up before they begin their work, similarly, we can learn from them the importance of advance preparation as we approach the holidays. In fact, a story in the Talmud and attributed to the Hasidic Masters as well, tells us of sages who pointedly would prepare for prayer by spending an hour or so meditating before they would begin their worship.

There are any of a numbers of ways to begin to prepare for the holidays. One way is to think and reflect on the themes of the season – return, repentance, Teshuvah, new beginnings and reconnecting with family and tradition are a few of them. Another way to explore the meaning of the season is by reading about it.

And hopefully if you do all this, you will be ready and won’t wake up in a cold sweat worrying that you missed the High Holidays.

What I Told our Kids about the Terror Attacks in Israel

After the recent terrorist attack in Jerusalem and murder of the members of the Fogel family in the Israeli settlement of Itamar, I spoke with the children in our religious school about these acts of violence.

I told them that one of the first stories I learned from the Midrash when I was in rabbinical school, and one which I have frequently told, is the one which likens the people of Israel to a lamb. We are compared to a lamb because a lamb is a fragile and sensitive animal. Anytime any one part of the lamb feels pain, the entire animal feels that pain. The rabbis teach that this is also true for the Jewish people.

I told the children that we are an extended family. Whenever any of our people are hurt or attacked, we all experience the pain and sense of loss, just like the lamb. I made a point of telling them, “I tell you this not to scare or frighten you. You should never be scared to visit Israel or think it is an unsafe place.” Rather, I explained, I shared this with them so that they would always understand that we are one people and that whatever happens to a Jew anywhere in the world, affects all of us since we have a shared fate and common destiny.

I took the time to do this because I think it is important, especially in these times when there are concerns about people not having a strong connection to the State of Israel, that rabbis do all we can to help to educate our youth and young people to understand that we are one people. Rather than merely lament the diminishing of the connection, rabbis must lead and do all that we can to strengthen and educate our congregants to appreciate this bond.

I concluded by telling our children, “Hopefully many, many years from now, you will still remember the message I have tried to impart to you and will always understand your responsibility to and for your fellow Jews.”

A New “Mah Nishtana:” Four Questions for Our Time

Prepared by Rabbi Stuart Weinblatt
April 18, 2011
As a supplement which you may use at your seder

Bechol haleilot, On all other nights we eat hurried and rushed meals. Haleila hazeh, Tonight we are gathered together as a family without other distractions.

What can we do to strengthen our bonds as a family and to ensure that we focus our attention and time on the ones we love?

Bechol haleilot, On all other nights we speak about mundane matters. Haleila hazeh, Tonight we retell the story of our history and emergence as a people.

What can we do to ensure the survival of the Jewish people so that the generations that come after us will also gather and tell our story and feel it is theirs?

Bechol haleilot, On all other nights we may not be particular in regard to what we eat. Haleila hazeh, Tonight we are guided by Jewish law and focus on eating only what is permitted.

What Jewish customs, practices and observances can we try to perform on a more regular basis?

Bechol haleilot, On all other nights we do not think of our past, our origins or where we came from. Haleila hazeh, Tonight we are reminded we were once slaves.

What does this mean, and how can we transform this message into showing compassion for others?

Rabbinical Assembly Convention

I just returned from the Annual Convention of Conservative Rabbis. The setting this year was a little bit different and out of the box – it was in Las Vegas, and the theme of the convention was, “Out of the Box Judaism.” The conference was extremely stimulating and intellectually rewarding.

One of the things I find so interesting about these conventions is the balance between practical and theoretical. One hour I was studying medieval Hebrew texts pertaining to laws of Tzedekah and noting how they apply to today. In the next hour I was moderating a session dealing with the future of the Conservative Movement. At another time we were dealing with questions about the issue of Halakhah, and then we were in sessions dealing with finding effective ways to use the new social media as a platform to get our message out and to reach our congregants.

And with all of this, there also was time for informal conversations and sharing. And yes – even Elvis made an appearance. One night an Elvis impersonator sang while we had refreshments, while another night we were treated to a Frank Sinatra impersonator, and we also visited the Hardwood Suite at the Palms Hotel. All in all, an “out of the box convention.”

Reuters Insensitivity

I was shocked and appalled to learn of the conscious stylistic choice on the part of Reuters to refer to a terrorist attack in Israel as, “Israel’s term for a Palestinian strike.” A bomb going off amidst civilians aimed at causing irreparable injury and loss of life surely seems to me to qualify as a “terrorist attack.” If that is not a terrorist attack, then what is it?! Perhaps it should be referred to as a “bag set among civilians that accidentally happened to explode for no apparent reason.”

The absurdity of the language you choose to use is astounding. It clearly appears to reflect a political agenda – to minimize the sense of revulsion at a barbaric act committed by Palestinians and instead places the onus on the victims. I certainly hope you reassess and reevaluate your use of the English language. Shame on you.

Bar and Bat Mitzvah

A recent article in the Sunday New York Times discussed the phenomena of families having a bar or bat mitzvah outside the framework of a synagogue. There are children who are being prepared for this traditional rite of passage by “online tutoring” with an anonymous person who may only meet the student and family infrequently, if at all. They hire what is commonly referred to as a “rent a rabbi” to officiate at a setting other than a synagogue.

Needless to say, I find the trend disturbing.

Ours is an oral tradition, passed on from one generation to the next. The teacher who trains and prepares the child, as well as the rabbi, can have a tremendous impact and considerable influence on helping a young person, as well as the family, connect to their heritage. A mentor can play a critical role in developing a child or family’s Jewish identity.

The article got me thinking about the reasons and advantages of having a bar or bat mitzvah at a synagogue, and especially at B’nai Tzedek.

While the “individualized” services may be personal, it overlooks the centrality of community in Judaism, as well as its role as the transmitter of our heritage.

As I point out to the children and parents, the children begin the service sitting in the midst of the congregation. They are invited and called up to the bimah when we get to the prayers preceding the reading from the Torah. I do this to symbolize the fact that the children are being invited to take their place as members of the congregation. They are becoming part of the community and of the people of Israel.

Prior to the service, I meet with the children and their parents in the Holt Family Chapel, at which time I remind them of the importance of kavannah, which means intention and spirituality. To help set the proper mood, I invite the parents to give their child a personal blessing at this special time. It can be a very beautiful spiritual moment.

In preparation for their bar/bat mitzvah, our children learn a number of synagogue - related skills designed to give them the tools so they will be knowledgeable, feel comfortable and be able to participate in services at any shul. The children learn to chant both the Friday night and Saturday morning kiddush, as well as how to do an aliyah. They study the blessings before and after reading from the Torah and Haftarah, the cantilation notes to chant Torah and Haftarah and a number of other prayers.

In addition to becoming familiar with the liturgy, the children and families participate in a number of workshops which present the meaning of bar and bat mitzvah, study their Torah portion and prepare a D’var Torah about the Torah reading. They also have the benefit of working with our experienced and skilled staff led by Cantor Kapell and bar and bat mitzvah coordinator, Liane Aaron, as well as our tutors and instructors who help to teach the children their individual portions.

I firmly believe there is a great advantage in forging a relationship with a synagogue community and being a part of a congregation. It offers the opportunity to develop a relationship with their synagogue and their rabbi – all of which cannot and does not happen with one of the “boutique” services discussed in the New York Times article.

A child I met with not too long ago told me that she disapproved of a non-synagogue service she attended precisely because it was too focused on the child. She wisely recognized that this venue did not convey the significance of becoming a member of the larger Jewish community.

Hopefully bar or bat mitzvah will be the pathway to a meaningful Jewish life, one which will continue long after the memories of a beautiful day and experience will have receded.